peter skips his ritalin

Posted: January 21, 2013 in Between the lines, Fractured Bible stories, Humor, Truth and Grace
Tags: , , , ,

peter and swordJesus is meeting with his disciples in the upper room at Mary’s house in Jerusalem. They’ve had their feet washed, broken bread, drunk wine and Judas has gone to get the Temple guards to grab Jesus at Gethsemane.

Jesus (a little tense): Okay, guys. my time is running out. I’m about to be betrayed and turned over to the Romans. They’re going to drag me away, beat me and kill me, but I’ll be back. It’s glorification time.

Peter (adamantly): No way! I’ll get a sword. They’ll get you over my dead body!

Jesus (holding up his hands): Chill, Peter. You’ll be swearing you don’t know me by tomorrow morning. It’ll be terribly difficult — my time has come — where I’m going you can’t go, but I’ll come back. I just have one last thing you need to know before I go.

Peter (pounding the table): it’s not gonna hap….

Jesus (frowning at Peter): Peter. I’ve a new commandment for you.

The disciples grow silent and attentive, but Peter is rummaging around trying to find a sword.

Jesus (Exasperated): Peter! (pause) Okay, here’s the deal: Love one another as I have loved you. By this, the world will know you are my disciples — love one another. That’s it. Love others. Any questions?

Peter (rusty sword in hand): Ha! Found one! So, where’ya’goin?

Jesus (rolling his eyes): Peter. Put. Away. Your. Sword.

Peter (intensely): Seriously, where’ya’goin?

Jesus: Rock. Settle down. We’re goin to Gethsemane and we’ll pray. Come with me, now.  Peter, repeat after me: love one another.

Peter: Love one another. Okay. Here we go! I’ve got a sword and I’m ready to do your will. Let’s go!

Jesus(sighing): For Pete’s sake. Okay, let’s go.

Tr8: Love one another. That’s how the world knows who we are.

Based on John 13:31-38

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